How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
