hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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