Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize