I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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