Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Still dying that you shit outside
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
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