i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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