his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
