Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize