This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
