So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
