I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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