we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
