We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
