Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
