If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
