If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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