I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
