# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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