chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
operation harelip BJ is a go
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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