we're blogging at a bar
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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