That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
