I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
We need to rekindle our bromance
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
