I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
