Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
