oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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