There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
