I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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