Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
