it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
