I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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