yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
