i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
