Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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