I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
