Hey man sorry I got all grabby
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize