Bisexual people are plain selfish.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize