all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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