i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
