On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
