belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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