Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
