My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize