that's an acceptable place to lick
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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