why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
