rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
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