Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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