She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I CAN MOONWALK!
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
