found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
