it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
