I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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