Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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