Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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