Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
