Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
We won't sleep together?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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