K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
