hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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