my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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