Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
