My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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