he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
