I can tuck mytits in my pants
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
