My friends, they love my intelligence
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
At least life still wants to fuck me.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
