You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
