Kareoke will never be a sober sport
hell yes lets make some ravioli
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
